Top 5 Facts Not To Mention about Your Past
Of course secrets and lies are no basis for a loving ‘until death do us part’ relationship. Everyone knows that. But on the other hand, you don’t have to reveal warts and all, especially not in the fragile early days of a new relationship. Read on for the top 5 topics to keep your lips sealed about until your relationship has matured from a fragile seed into a tough sturdy plant.
1. Family/Friend Feuds
You might not be speaking to your mother, have had a world war 3 row with your best friend, not care if you never saw your siblings again. For the time being however, keep these feuds to yourself. Even if they are totally the other party’s fault, which of course they never are, what do they say about you? I’ll tell you what. Someone who easily falls out with the important people in her/his life. Someone who’s intolerant, uncompromising, aggressive. Are you sure that’s the image of yourself you want to present to a budding love interest?
2. The Ex(es)
Funny, nearly every ‘don’t ever do this on a date’ list instructs you, never ever to go down the ex partner route. And yet, so many of us do it. Even if you’re comparing your current partner favourably to the impossibly awful ex, it’s still a very bad idea. 1: it shows she/he is still very much on your mind. 2: it puts pressure on the person in your life right now to be perfect and 3: she/he will be wondering if a few months down the line, you’ll be saying the same things about her/him. Forget the past, live in the present, the right now.
3 Bad Behaviour
If there’s a lull in the dinner date conversation, you might try and liven things up with an ‘amusing’ story about some bad behaviour on your part. A brush with the law, an alcohol induced spot of violence, cheating on a lover or standing a friend up because something better came along, whatever. You might think these incidents make you look like a loveable rogue and stand by the ‘love me, love my behaviour’ thing. But it’s a high risk strategy because the person sitting opposite you may well start to have serious doubts about the wisdom of entangling her/himself with you. Your date may make a lame excuse and leave you with nothing but the bill. Keep your tongue under strict control or you may be kicking yourself for days.
4 Bragging’s a turn off
Confident is great, it’s sexy. But don’t overdo it. Bragging to your date about how incredibly and amazingly wonderful you are at almost everything can be a real turn off. As the saying goes, ‘show, don’t tell’. Give it time and all your good qualities will shine through and dazzle your partner without you having to explain what a superhuman being you are.
5 The root of all evil
Money’s a tricky subject. If it can’t be avoided, handle it with extreme care. Everyone hates a golddigger, so steer very clear of looking like your primary interest is in your date’s bank account rather than their personality. Talking about the amazing bargains you’ve grabbed or even worse, how you’ve ripped someone off will make you look like a miserable penny pincher and who wants to be around one of those? Equally, you don’t want to appear to be a big spender who could ruin a partner with their extravagant ways.